Wednesday, December 1, 2010

How to Control Childhood Aggressiveness

Aggressive behavior in young children aged around 3-5 years could not be tolerated at all, because the rate will be higher until eventually may harm himself or others, such as throwing dangerous objects, hitting others and so on. .


- Less consistent application of rules at home.
- Lack of discipline


1. In applying the rules, parents should be united and support each other. There should be no difference of opinion in front of children. Example: My mother forbade children to eat candy, but the father or other family members explicitly allow or even in front of the child asking the mother to allow children to eat candy.

2. Give clear warning if the child begins to perform aggressive behavior. Tell the firm tone of voice and expression (not angry) Then let the behavior of what should be done for children: "You're only allowed to eat candy once a day." Or if the child is accustomed to whining every ask for something,then taught how to ask the right such as "If you want the toy, then ask me politely ”Mother, please give me the toy."

3. Give clear warning, if the child continues to whine or to act aggressive when asking for something that is forbidden, ignore until it stops itself (while not necessarily harmful). This may take a very long time, but parents should be able to refrain from providing what has been previously banned.

4. If a child is dangerous aggressive actions (eg hitting very hard or using a dangerous item):

a. hold the child's hand tightly (to stop the blow)
b. parallel face-to-eye with the child (an adult may be in a sitting position), then say firmly, "Not allowed to hit!"
c. If the child is still trying to hit, give warning of sanctions, " Mother / father will not let you go until you stop hitting "(no need to give expression of anger, just give a flat expression on the child).
d. After the child stopped trying to hit, give a warm smile and expression on the child, saying “Okay, now it is so much better. "
This statement is important so he knows what expected behavior is. After the child is calm, explain the reasons why parents ban or do not give anything, etc.

Good Luck !
(DS. Utomo)
(Information source : Piah, a young psychologist from University of Indonesia)..


Multibrand said...

Halo Pak Utomo,

An interesting post with important tips for raising toddlers.
I'd like to add that children exists because the parents want them. They never asked to be born. They are just like a piece of blank paper, if parents write or draw picture properly, they will become good children, otherwise they will become the opposite.
In this case mother and father should work very closely and never contradict with each other.

By the way, may I have your e-mail address Pak ? Mine is:

DS. Utomo said...

Thanks for your great comment according to your experience, mas Harry.
My email address :

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the useful information. As parents, I think we should also learn something about children psychology.

Cool Daddy said...

very useful tips...I did experienced with this aggressive kids before..of course with my kids...

DS. Utomo said...

@Cool Daddy : Thanks for your comment. I suggest you read more - The Psychology for The Child